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jueves, 27 de septiembre de 2018

About time


(this is the English version of this)

Last August 24, Iris and I got married, after a flash 13-years-and-10-month courtship. Three days before that, I left England for Spain. And one day before that, I left Dyson, after working there for two wonderful years. Iris and I thought the best for the couple was to settle in Madrid, at least for now. The things I do for love.

We'd been preparing the D-Day for a year and a half, ever since, on a beach in Goa, I showed her the ring by surprise (while she was dozing on the towel, and her answer was a hugely open stare and "What are you doing?"). As the date got closer, and even though the important preparations like the church¹, venue, phographers or disc jockey were set, my anxiety increased. I was never worried about marriage itself, you see, but about all the details, since we wanted everything to be perfect. Me being in the middle of moving out of Britain and job seeking only added to said anxiety. In retrospect, I should have left Dyson earlier, if only to be a bit more relaxed to focus on the wedding. Anyway.

The days prior to the wedding were a carousel of commitments, phone calls, choices, confirmations and cancellations, trying to round up the details, of which the most important was likely the bus to take the invitees from one place to the other. I don't recall much of that frantic time, other than the weather being amazing and that we were both really excited to have so many relatives and friends visiting Galicia for the first time, and how they were slowly arriving from all around Spain and some  from overseas.

like these three, here visiting Santa Tecla's summit
Friday morning came eventually, of which I remember going for a walk with my friend from university, Cristóbal, to take my mind off the hassle. In the afternoon, after a light lunch, my uncle and acting godfather, Rafael, took me to the taylor to get dressed. The photographer, David from Fluxus, also came to capture the process (that was kind of the point). Once ready, we picked my mom up, waited  twenty more minutes for her to get her head dress ready and we set off to Baiona, where the act took place.

As I said, I wasn't nervous till then, only concerned with every detail. But as I got off the car, among all the friends and family groups, my heart jumped in my chest: I hadn't realized how many people, and how many different groups, were there: lifelong friends from Vigo, friends from the university years, Brits and Americans, family from all over...

After clumsily greeting some invitees, we had to come in - against all expectation, Iris was almost there! I almost assumed she was going to be from half to three quarters of an hour late. But, maybe thanks to the insistence of Fátima (her choffeuse²), she was so on time that about half the people were still outside the church. My mother and I rushed on the red carpet, to the point that the photographer had to ask us to slow down lest he fell. Iris and her father did a lot better.

also, look at her mom. Doesn't she look like she's attending the Oscars'?
The religious act went greatly, and I didn't stutter or shake when I put the ring on Iris's finger - I didn't even cry! There is this tradition in Spain about giving each other thirteen coins symbolically (you know, one for each month plus one in case), and both my nephew and Iris's niece, who were carrying the coins and the rings respectively, did that brilliantly too. Afterwards, my nephew, Iñaki, told his mother "Mom, they returned them!" with great concern... Oh, I missed kissing the bride, because the priest didn't explicitly tell me so, and I do as I am told. What he did say was "it's done, you're married", to what my father in law replied "Cool, can we leave then?". Manolo, the priest, suddenly looked super serious and snapped "NO". Everyone else only heard that, and it was really funny.

but then we had mass, and that's not funny. It's serious stuff.
After the service, signatures and photographies, we went out to be cheered and photographed even more and even better. The Britons were endearingly waiting for their turn to congratulate us, only to be constantly overtaken by eager Spaniards with less of a personal space sense. I had to turn to them myself, or else they might still be there!

Diego, the guy with the pink tie, on the other hand, is the opposite - always the first to cheer the couple. He uses basketball tactics for that
The reception and party were in the pazo de Cea, in the nearby town of Nigrán. "Pazo" is Galician for "palace", but a more accurate translation would be "manor". They tend to be seventeenth- or eighteenth-century houses for minor nobility, usually in granite, with a sizeable garden as far as Galicia goes. Iris and I had been to this particular one before, and I was captivated by the fact that there were frogs in the pond. Frogs! Come on. The staff was wonderful, both during preparations and in the day, and to top it off, the catering they work with is a local restaurant with one Michelin star, casa Solla.

Our friends Fátima and Manu drove us there and then lost time intentionally and quite blatantly, so we could arrive just in time for a surprise: a bagpipe group with dancers for a traditional regueifa! This is a folk dance in which the bride has to carry a loaf of bread on her head. If it doesn't fall off, the marriage will be blessed with fortune and children; but if it does, it'll be doomed for all eternity (I think). In this day and age, like champions for a duel, it is professionals who perform the dance, which helps. This was a gift from Iris's twin aunts, Cris and Luz, and an amazing one. It was something we had in mind, but ended up choosing a pop duo over it, so I am really glad we had it after all.

that girl has a lot of merit, and the one with the bread too
We've been told the cocktail was great. We chose to have a long cocktail and a short dinner, primarily because in other weddings we've been to, we tended to arrive to the dinner already full with the usually delicious bites. I say we've been told because we missed a good part of it due to the photos, although not as much as we feared thanks to the extreme proffessionalism of David and Lorena. They were both quick with the couple pictures and really comprensive (and comprehensive) with the groupal ones. I am really keen to see their pictures.

This was all to the music of the aforementioned duo Sobre todo Ella ("Mostly Her"), which was great. Several people asked us about them, to attend their gigs afterwards. They also were nice enough to adapt (on a very short notice on my part) a very nice song by the Mexican singer Natalia Lafourcade, which they made us dance to (quite difficult with a bride's dress, it turns out).

the people make the party
We also took the chance to have the invitees solve a quiz about the invitees themselves. The idea was to mix the different groups and make them get to know each other, and I reckon they did a bit. What I almost managed to do, amused by the sound of my own voice as I told everyone the right answers (and, shamefully, only remembering half way through about the non-Spanish speakers), was to make the staff super nervous - we were an hour late for dinner...

After having a few bites that were left for us, Iris and I entered the hall to the sound of Glory Days, which made me very happy. It was just a great moment, seeing all at the same time, with that upbeat song, everyone standing up, singing or clapping, and arriving to the table with our parents, and everything was beautiful. And I didn't cry there either!

 I have not got a good picture of this moment, though there must be some
I remember little of the dinner itself, for I started being extremely hot, but my mother forbade me from taking my jacket off, because protocol (as it has been established, I do as I am told). I almost passed out. In fact, we two gave away a couple of birthday cakes (I know, having your birthday be on someone else's wedding day, so rude!) and some flowers, and I couldn't keep up with Iris or the music. Oh, by the way, the DJ suggested a tune by Lenny Kravitz which worked great. I don't know, maybe it's super common in your country, but in Spain it was refreshing instead of the go-to alternative.

We had another surprise after the dessert, in this case from my mother, with the help of my mother in law and my uncle Rafael. The latter explained my family's tradition of opera names (my great-great-grandfather was an aficionado opera singer and his son named his kin after characters like Tosca, Aida, Mimí...), and then presented a soprano and pianist that performed four jaw-dropping arias. My friend Denis told Rafael: "I've never been to an opera, but I've been to quite a few weddings, and this is the most beautiful thing I've seen in one". If only I could've taken the jacket off. Seriously, mom.

After that, Belén (Iris's sister) and Julio (their father) gave a speech each, which I would like to read now, since I was so suffocated that I lost track sometimes (seriously, mom), although I must admit I did cry a couple of times here. Less than Julio, anyway.

After that... drinks, laughs, and general foolery. Borja, the DJ, did an outstanding job, even though some friends mentioned they missed some more rock music. We put out a fussball after midnight , which lots of people took as something perfectly normal (it was my idea!); we danced, especially Tom "by the way, I am amazing at salsa" Middleton; I finally took off the jacket, but not the waistcoat; we drank all the coffee liquor; drunken friends approached our parents to said how much they love us... And the last song was our song, and the remaining invitees, which were lots³, made a circle around us, and they sang with us, and boy I cried there, though less than Juliet, anyway, and the music faded as the people converged on us like it was a film.

Many people say one's wedding day flies, and I've even heard of some people who didn't enjoy it as much. But, at least in our case, everything was so beautiful, and it turned out so well, everyone was so happy to be there, and so handsome, the staff was so good, that the day didn't fly: it's just that I wish it had never ended.

no context is given for this picture
¹ So, I got married by the Catholic rite, which I do not profess nor practice. But, like Iris said to an acquaintance: "I'll get married in a church because I am a Catholic, and he will because he's marrying me".
² I kinda like choffeuse as feminine for choffeur. I made it up.
³ My friend Abel said to me: "The first bus being at half two sounded like too late at first, because I am not so fond of weddings. However, I am having such a blast that it's half past four and it feels so early!"

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